iMiss Him
by FeigningInterest
Summary: There's a reason for everything, right? So explain, why am I the one who keeps losing? Why am I the one sick? And why, for the love of ham, won't Freddie leave me alone? SEDDIE
1. iHate Aniversaries

AN: Every episode Sam mentions her mother, but not once does she mention her dad... So I came up with a story line that not only explains what happened to her dad, but also why she's so violent and sheltered. Be warned, this IS romance! It's also REALLY SAD! Which means my favorite couple will be ensued! Please read and review! LOVE YOU GUYS! (: Oh, don't get mad about the book store reference... I work in one too!

Chapter One: iHate Anniversaries

"Hey!"

"Agh!" I jumped, almost hitting my head on my locker. Being to a dragging point of exhaustion all day means two things. One: I REALLY don't want anyone sneaking up on me, and two: I REALLY want to kill whoever sneaks up on me. Good thing it's only Freddie.

"What do ya want, geek?"

"Have you seen Carly?"

"Not since lunch." I looked over towards her locker, noticing her absence. Hmm, she's usually here, and I can usually tell when she's not standing right beside of me.

"Did you see her in Science?" Freddie looked behind me down the hall.

"I was asleep in Science..."

"Wow, Sam." Freddie rolled his eyes and walked on past me.

My heart dropped as soon as that familiar pain ran through my legs, causing me to almost lose my balance. I dropped my science book, but couldn't reach down to get it. I stared at it for a few seconds, trying to figure out what to do about it.

"Jeez, you're lazy." Freddie caught me staring at my book and bent down to pick it up for me. I smirked my usual sideways smirk when he handed it back to me. I'm strong, just not strong enough to muster anything close to a smile. Not today, anyway.

"Sam!" I heard Carly call to me. "You're here! Why are you here?"

Freddie looked at Carly weird like, "why wouldn't she be here?"

"She's never here June 3rd. She's usually at the beach visiting her brother and her dad."

I bit the inside of my lip. I haven't gone three seconds without thinking about my dad. "It was canceled this year."

"Oh, that's a bummer. Did you miss me in Science?"

"I didn't notice you weren't there. I was kicking sheep the entire time."

Carly smiled. "Don't you mean _counting_ sheep?"

I smiled a little too. "No, I remember kicking."

Carly headed to History and Freddie headed off to whichever class he had now, but I took a U-turn and trudged towards the office. The school day wasn't even half way over, and I already felt like jumping off the gym building.

I was greeted with dread by the lady at the front desk. "What now, Sam?"

"I need to call someone to pick me up before I die." I laid my head down on the counter.

"Are you sick, or do you just want to avoid some kind of trouble?"

My eyes blurred, placing two bearded graying ladies scolding in my direction. I wiped them with the palm of my hands, even though I know the effect would be in place for at least ten minutes.

"What's wrong with you?" the lady at the desk snapped.

I snapped right back, "Go tell Principal Franklin that Sam Puckett's having 'Friedreich' problems. He'll get it."

"What in the world does that mean?" The woman asked, picking up her phone to call Ted.

"Is it any of your business?" My leg spasmed, and I lost what was left of my balance. To the amusement of other students who only thought I fell. I sat there, trying my best to regain the motor skills in my legs.

The PMSing lady at the desk continued screaming at me, and went on with it as I stayed sitting on the floor. Every student in the office kept laughing, most of them knowing my pranks and thinking I was playing one now. Usually it's me who makes them laugh, but now I just wished they'd stop. Maybe one of them could help me. I felt it as soon as I fell and I knew it was coming. So I let it. I stopped trying to move my legs and let a burst of fresh, warm tears come out in a silent sob of defeat.

The laughing stopped and the whispers started. Gasps let lose, and the rumors would soon spread. From the look of things I was throwing some sort of temper-tantrum, but in reality, like usual, it's much more complicated than that.

Ted FINALLY exited his office long enough to see me sitting there, in tears. He heard the whispers of the students, most of them going on about how I must have lost a fight, or something went wrong with iCarly, a few of them even said that I was going crazy because I was madly jealous of Freddie liking Carly. Apparently people seem to gossip in run on sentences.

"You told me she had gotten into some sort of trouble; you didn't tell me she was hurt!" Ted yelling at the receptionist made me happier than it should have.

"Sorry, sir, I just thought..."

"Well perhaps you're not the brightest thinker..."

The receptionist lady didn't respond; I doubted she was still looking at him.

"Do you think you could handle giving me the phone? Or is that too difficult, maybe I should do that myself."

He dialed the phone, and I crossed my fingers hoping he had called my older brother, Brendon, instead of my mother.

"Hello?..... Is this Brandon Puckett?..... Oh, _Brendon _Puckett, my apologies. I have a Sam Puckett here who is having what appears to be stress related problems and needs to be attended to immediately..... She is very upset, and her legs seem to be bothering her..... Thank you, she'll be waiting in the front office..... Alright, goodbye."

A good thirty minutes later my brother arrived. Okay, maybe ten or fifteen minutes, but it felt like thirty. He doesn't really greet me, but that's just his usual way. He wasn't mad or anything. He carried me to the car and buckled me into the front seat. The transaction made me feel helpless.

"How've you been, Bren?"

"Better than usual but still not great."

I smiled. What a typical Brendon answer.

"You okay, lit-sis?" The nickname made me choke.

"You know me, tough as nails."

He smiled and turned on the radio. He doesn't live far from my school, but I rarely ever get to see him. I have a room at his loft, and I enjoy it there better than I do at my actual house. His occupation falls in the same category as Spencer's. He's an artist, just with different tools and approaches to things. He's mostly a painter and a photographer. In my opinion, his only flaw is his lack of confidence.

We come to a stop and Nirvana's _About a Girl_ greets me as I step out of Brendon's little green Station Wagon. There's three things in this rounded blue and green world that Brendon would die for. One being me, the other two being Total, his little Scottie, and his lime green, metal steering wheel, racing striped, star rimmed Station Wagon. He's had it since my dad gave it to him on his sixteenth birthday. I was about eight then.

"I'll carry you up the stairs, okay?"

I groaned and he smiled. "It's better than that wretched chair, right?"

A flood of something painful made me cry again. That chair's nothing more than a cripple's way of getting around. It's a wheelchair that belongs to my dad. That _belonged_ to my dad.

"Oh man, I'm sorry, Sammy." He picked me up, and I cried on his shoulder.

He carried me up the stairs, and a few people on the street looked at him like some creepy teenager with a kid fetish. That made me laugh, but in a way grossed me out. "Thanks, Big Brother." The people stopped looking.

Brendon sat me down on the couch, and I tried to stand as soon as he left the room. To my relief I was able to. The stress of the day is what triggered this fire friendly reaction of mine, passed down so lovingly from my father's side of the family.

"So, you're fine now?"

"I guess."

"That's good." He paused and looked away. Trying to hide the guilt of his question. "How's mom? Is she still..."

"Drinking? Yeah. Worse now, actually," I snapped without meaning too.

"I'm sorry."

"You think?"

He caught the joke. One I'd use on Freddie if I ever got the chance. Which I doubt I ever will; he never seems to be the one having to apologize.

"Is she still not giving you money or feeding you?" He smirked without meaning to and turned from me trying to hide it.

"I'm able to feed myself now, you know. I stay with Carly a lot. It doesn't bother her."

"I'm making a killing at the shop." I looked up at Brendon, wondering why he changed the subject. He nervously flipped his bangs out of his eyes and dragged on. "We're selling like crazy ever since the Maximum Ride series got so big. Not to mention the Twilight and Harry Potter people." My brother's the only person who refers to working in a book store as _'the shop.' _He thinks it sounds less nerd-ish than actually saying 'the book store.'

"That's good, I guess."

"You can live with me, if you want. Now that I can afford an Eighth grade roommate."

I sighed. "I'm in the Ninth grade, Bren."

"Okay, a Ninth grade roommate."

"Hmm... I can still go to Carly's for the web show, I can still go to my school, I'll have an actual bed here, I'll have my big brother back, and I'll have Cable TV and fast Internet connection right?"

He smiled. "And smoothies. I fixed the machine upstairs. So, are you in?"

I smiled. "Five conditions: I can have Carly and Freddie over sometime, I get one of your old laptops you don't use, we get to spend time together a lot, you have to tell mom, bring me a smoothie now, and you help me haul my stuff here."

Brendon smiled at me and reached out his hand. "Deal."

I shook it and stood up again. It's been a year in the making, a year since my family fell apart, and my mother picked up odd habits. It's strange how fast time can fly. How slow people are at grasping things. It's been a year to the minute since my brother moved, leaving me alone. This day used to greet me with excitement and glee, but has left me sorrowful. It's been a year since I started hating Anniversaries.


	2. iDon't want to go back to School

AN: I finished the first chapter! (: I do not own iCarly... Why do we have to put this? Is it not obvious, I mean really? How many times have you read that on a FAN FICTION story? If we owned it we wouldn't be going around singing, 'I'm a fan of this fiction lalalalala.' If we owned it we'd be singing, 'I'm the owner of this fiction lalalalala.' Frien-emies means Friend-enemies. I just thought it would be something Sam would think up.

**Chapter Two: iDon't Want to go Back to School**

I spent most of the week without school, homework, chores and, unfortunately, iCarly. My phone rang off the hook three million times this week, and I racked up about twenty billion messages from Carly; some were even from Freddie. As you can tell, I've been failing math. I dreaded Monday almost as much as I dreaded starting off a new school year. At the present moment, I'm enjoying my last spur of freedom by watching my socked toes dance themselves out of numbness.

It's not the funnest activity, but it is one of my favorite 'lounge and not study' things I do when I'm not in school. When I'm not in school, and then I think about school, I usually gag and hide under my bed. Most people probably picture me as the skipper but I'm not. Usually I never really want to stay home. My mother would leave me in the house all alone with no Internet, cable, or heating/air conditioning; thus forcing me to go to school. My brother, on the other hand, has all luxuries a teen aged girl, such as myself, could ever possibly dream up.

The problem with this - the third day rolls around and you've played every video game, watched every movie, gone to every interesting website, and watched enough cable to lower your IQ about thirty points. It's Friday now and the past few days I've been moving my crap in, and arranging it in a new room with oddly multi-colored walls (that I enjoy). Now I'm playing with my recently named toes in my oddly in order room in my awesomely homely house, it also being new to me, and oddly enough not eating anything.

"Sam?" I hear Brendon a calling.

"Yeah?!" What? I don't want to get up...

"You have a friend."

I looked oddly towards the door, but remembered it didn't have the ability to take my confusion and express it to my older brother residing downstairs. "Um, actually, I have two."

"You have a friend to see you, smarty-hole."

Wait, none of my friends know I'm here. "What's she look like?"

"A boy."

I considered. No way. "Be more specific!"

"Get your flat feet down here and you'll see."

"Not without details, _Brendon_!" I wasn't budging. Not for some random person delivering me homework.

"He's not a spy, _Samantha_."

"How do you know, Bren?" Now I'm just teasing, but knowing my brother, he'll get bored and eventually send up the 'friend of mine.'

"He has mamma's boy written on his forehead, and a black eye the size of France. Sammy, I'm sending him up, alright?"

"Bout' time," I said, mostly to myself, but loud enough to where he could hear me.

I heard him mumble a few choice words under his breath as I trudged my way downstairs.

"Hey, Sam."

I looked around the room, trying my best to avoid eye contact with the geek. "Hey, Fredward."

He didn't scoff or retort, all he did was reply, "You haven't been in school for awhile, and your mom said you left. You should have told someone you were moving."

"It wasn't your business. You shouldn't care anyway. You hate me, remember?"

He seemed taken aback. "I don't hate you. _You_ hate _me_, _remember?_"

I changed the subject, trying to avoid any mushy Freddork bonding moments. "How'd you know where to find me?"

"Your mom told me you were at your brother's. I didn't know you had a brother."

"Yeah. I guess he just never came up."

"I guess not. Carly knew about him. She told me that him and Spencer were friends all throughout school."

"Yeah. Kinda like me and Carly are."

He nodded and looked around. "I wonder if they had a Freddie."

"Yeah, they did. I think it was Rain."

He laughed. "Poor guy, is Rain his real name?"

"Yeah. Rain is_ her_ real name."

"Oh. Their nerd was a girl?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, but she did fight with Bren a lot."

"Like we do?"

"Yeah. Bren would always make fun of her. You know, like name calling and pranking. Kinda what I do to you."

"Did they like each other? I mean, guys usually do that when they have a crush on a girl."

I never really knew the relationship Rain and Brendon had. They were horrible to each other, but still cared for one another. They were Frien-emies. Best friends caring about the other, consoling the other when they needed it. But, when everything was okay they'd be jumping down each other's throats.

"They were friends." An answer I wasn't all too sure of.

"Did she like Spencer?" He joked.

I laughed, "Ironically, yeah."

Freddie smiled, "History repeats itself, I guess."

A spasm of pain ran through my head. Every terrifying memory of mine came in a flood of flashes and noises, taking over my senses for a moment. Even the idea of history repeating itself makes me sick.

I blinked a few times, trying to choke back a sob, "Where'd the black eye come from?"

"Oh. That wrestler guy. The one who's locker is right under mine."

"Did he get in trouble?"

"Yeah, he got suspended. Why aren't you in school?"

Hmm... What's a suitable excuse? I wonder if sea monkeys stole my money would do? Aha! "I was moving. You already knew that."

"Oh. I thought it had something to do with you collapsing in tears on the school office floor."

**AN: (thanks** **nleslie, Nirvana could make ANY story bad$$! Thanks for the review! Glad you like the pop culture references!**


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